Juggling Senior Year
I am usually a consistent writer, finding pockets of time to creatively express myself. But these first months of school have been a beast like no other. I am constantly working and studying and performing, yet I always feel behind; I always feel like I am playing catch-up. My mind is racing with to-do lists for extracurriculars, song lyrics for choir, choreography for dance, words for English class, and data for research. Yet I always feel like I am not doing enough. Even though I know I am doing too much.
I can’t be the only one who feels like this, though. Senior year: the year everything comes to an end. It’s the year that everything we’ve worked for is either accepted or rejected. We feel the anxiety. We feel the stress. We wonder if we’ll be good enough. But these are our wonders and emotions.
Anytime I come across a parent, family member, etc, the first question they have for me involves college. What happened to “how are you doing?” or “how was your summer?” I would be over the moon with joy if someone asked me what I’m most excited about for senior year, not my plans for after senior year. Because why does my mom’s friend’s sister’s cousin’s dog’s owner need to know my SAT score or which colleges I hope to go to?
I know that when this is over, we’ll reflect and realize it wasn’t the end of the world. That’s what everyone says; that it’ll all work out. But in the middle of it all, it’s too hard to see the bigger picture. And that’s okay.
I’m starting to learn that it is okay to not know everything. I’m starting to learn that it is okay to feel lost. It’s okay to be stressed out by something others say is not that big of a deal. It’s okay to be nervous. What doesn’t feel okay, though, is when curious adults ask us about all of our details. These are personal details, ones that stress us out to a high degree. All I ask is if you are not exceptionally close to someone, don’t ask them every last thing about their college application process.
Now, I’ve taken a break from homework and supplemental essays to write this rant. It’s time to travel back to stress central. But knowing that I’m not the only one struggling with this helps, so hopefully this article helps you in a similar way. I’m not going to tell you it’ll all be okay, because I know it doesn’t feel like that. But I’ll tell you this: soon the process will be over, and second semester will just hit different.