Hijab?
Inspired by an Anonymous Contributor
When I was young, I did everything in my arsenal to avoid my culture. I couldn’t let myself fall into the stereotypes that came with being Muslim. Everyday, people talked about the violence Islam promotes and its link to terrorism. It’s insane to me how people can generalize a religion involving a motley of communities, nations, and stories. Such labels affect people to a large degree.
Growing up, I had a lot of anxiety and was always uncertain about the future. I had a really hard time finding a way to cope with these feelings. My family has always been a big help, though. We have always had each others’ backs and have worked hard to maintain traditions such as eating dinner together every night. Valuing respect and our culture has allowed us to stay grounded. Despite my anxiety, I was outgoing. I think there is an expectation to be either an extrovert or introvert. Personally, I think one can be shy and loud; people often see the easygoing side of me, but they have no idea what is going on in my head. I often need time alone to recharge and reflect.
Throughout my experiences with anxiety and attempted assimilation, I’ve found so much beauty in my community and my culture. I run many identity clubs at my school and try to stay connected to my religion. Recently, I’ve even been thinking about possibly wearing a hijab to school. However, I find it hard to actually go through with this because of the judgment I could face. Maybe I’ll get there some day! Even thinking about doing this feels like a big improvement from my efforts to hide my culture at a young age; I feel like every year I’ve revealed a new layer to myself.
Sometimes, I wish I could talk to my former self. I would tell her how strong she is, and remind myself that things will get better, no matter how difficult they seemed at the time. I would tell her that those identity struggles will shape who she is today. But, I can’t tell her those things, because it’s too late. But, I can tell you: don’t hide from your battles. It will be how you grow into yourself .