I Learned to Wear Hoodies at 11
Inspired by an Anonymous Contributor.
June 14th, 2019. It was the first week of summer vacation before 6th grade. I was so excited elementary school was finally over. Now I could be an independent woman! My parents kept telling me to stay young and never grow up. I didn’t understand, though. All I wanted was freedom and responsibility.
June 15th, 2019. My friend convinced her mom to take us to the beach. She gets to wear bikinis, but my Chinese parents would never allow me to wear them. It’s not fair. We made sand castles and swam for hours. The sun was beating down on us intensely and the air smelled like sunscreen and salt. I love summer. Once we were worn out by the crashing waves and sweltering heat, we went to my house for dinner. My mom made fresh pesto pasta using the basil from our garden. I couldn’t wait to have my own garden.
June 16th, 2019. It was raining. My parents were working and all of my friends’ parents didn’t want to drive in the rain. I was stuck inside. My brother and I fought over the remote, forced ourselves to read for a bit, and wanted to order UberEats. Our parents said no. I couldn’t wait until I could drive myself.
June 17th, 2019. My mom had a half day at work. She said she could drive me somewhere until her workday started. My brother and I wanted to go to Six Flags, but she said we couldn’t be there by ourselves. Instead, we went to the park where we played some soccer and used the swings. It got boring quickly. I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to go places without an adult.
June 18th, 2019. It was finally the weekend! Our parents didn’t have to work, so they took us out to lunch and ice cream. I got chocolate. My brother got mint chip. After lunch, we drove out to the suburbs, where our aunt lived. She took us to the mall where I wanted to buy crop tops; it was what all my friends were wearing, and I didn’t want to be the only one without them. My mom said I was too young to dress like that. I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to wear whatever I wanted.
June 20th, 2019. Back to the boring week when I had nothing to do. I stayed in bed until 1pm. Once I forced myself out of bed, I decided to cut up some of my clothes because I was tired of my boring t-shirts. I cut some crop tops for myself. I threw one on and looked in the mirror. For once, I looked like one of the older girls at our school. To cover my new scandalous look, I put a hoodie on. My friend said her mom could drop us off at the mall. When we got there, I took off my sweater. My friend was shocked.
“Wow you look good!” she commented.
“Thanks! I finally feel like an actual girl,” I giggled.
As we were walking around the mall, I started getting weird stares from men. One guy passed us and whistled. He had salt and pepper hair, forehead wrinkles, and sagging pants. I ran to the bathroom, my face hot and heart pounding. I felt smaller all of a sudden. I just wanted to feel confident wearing trendy clothes. I was simply dressing for myself. To feel good about myself.
June 20th, 2023. It’s been four years. I got my driving permit. I started going to the mall and to theme parks without an adult. I helped develop a garden at my school. But I always wear a full length shirt. I always wear a hoodie. It’s just safer. High school assemblies angered me. They were always targeted at girls, telling us how to dress and make ourselves invisible because “boys will be boys.” Our clothing choices shouldn’t be an invitation for anyone to stare at or touch our bodies. I just wish I wasn’t 11 when I found out how harsh the world can be.